Goals for 2008

So here it is. They aren't resolutions necessarily, since I always fail at them, but they are goals for sure. I hope I can stick to most of them. My most important goal for 2008 is to be happy and to live with few regrets. Obviously if I get myself organized and my priorities straight, I shouldn't have a problem. But you never know...

More quantifiable goals are listed below.

• Academic: to write a thesis, to graduate, to go to grad school
• Fiscally: to find a nice but cheap place to live, to not spend a lot of money on food, to make money (save more than spend) once in grad school
• Socially: to make new friends at my new school, to leave my room more often
• Physically: to maintain my weight, to exercise regularly, to eat fruits and vegetables every day, to sleep ~8 hours a day
• Mentally: to not go crazy, to organize myself well so I don't stress out too much, to remember more things (questionable if this will happen)
• Writing: to write at least one story per month, to blog at least four times a month
• Reading: to read at least 8 books, to read at least 2 scientific articles a month, to read something in Spanish and/or German at least once a week
• Languages: to study/finish Croatian textbook and have basic fluency, to learn basic French
• Sports: to check on soccer teams at least once a week, to check on tennis results at least once a week, to check on basketball teams at least once a week, to watch as much as possible of NCAA tournaments, Grand Slams, Olympics, etc. (this shouldn't be too hard as long as I have internet access)

2007 Summary

Wow, it's basically the end of a year and I actually have blogged throughout it! It should make my year-end summary a bit easier. So let's start with a very concise summary...

Major Life Events

1. Seattle (with my parents), 12/28/06-1/3/07
2. Sister's graduation - early June
3. Summer job/research - May to August
4. Canada (with family) - end of August
5. Grad. school apps - October through December

Major Events that I paid attention to/watched (Warning: sports)

1. Australian Open, tennis, late January
2. World Championships, figure skating, February/March?
3. March Madness, college basketball, late March
4. UEFA Champions' League final, soccer, late May
5. French Open, tennis, late May-early June
6. Gold Cup, soccer, June
7. Wimbledon, tennis, late June-early July
8. NBA Draft, basketball, late June
9. U-20 World Cup, soccer, July
10. MLS All-Star game, soccer, mid July
11. U.S. Open series, tennis, late July-August
12. U.S. Nationals, gymnastics, mid August
13. U.S. Open, tennis, late August-early September
14. Women's World Cup, soccer, September
15. World Championships, gymnastics, early/mid October?
16. Master's Cup, tennis, November
17. MLS Cup, soccer, November
18. NCAA women's volleyball, some during September-November, December
19. NCAA men's and women's soccer championships, December

Other Things that I Completed

1. Books: all I can remember are Monkey, the Riddle Master Trilogy, and Book 1 of Lord of the Rings Trilogy
2. RPGs: Suikoden V, Tales of Legendia, Tales of the Abyss
3. Knitting: one cardigan, one tank top, redoing a short-sleeved sweater, everything but sewing up a hoodie
4. Writing: 39 fics, 17 for tennis, 16 for soccer, 2 original, 4 other

Wow, that's a lot of shit so far. Now I'm going to go a bit slower, recapping each month.

January - There was Seattle, which was alright except it was more of a trip for my parents to check up on my brother, so I got to bore myself by watching weird stuff on TV, or if I wanted something slightly more to my tastes, old tapes of figure skating. I remembered Yu-Na Kim and Brian Joubert and figured I would carry on and root for them at the championships. Then my life became the Australian Open, which I was watching through live-stream and on TV. Mario hadn't gotten mono yet, so he was doing well. Ah, if only he could have won that 5th set against Andy Roddick... I remember how all of my favorites (Amelie, Sveta, Ana, Mario, Novak) all lost on the same day. I also remember the horrible comment made by an ESPN sports announcer who said something like "Maria's fans would have been happy to see her out there longer" when she went 9-7 to Camille Pin in the 3rd set of her opener(?). Yeah, and Gonzo was being crazy until the final, and Maria Sharapova got killed by Serena. Justine had her divorce going on...it just seemed like she might have stood more of a chance than Maria. Oh well. I still managed to keep up with soccer somehow during this time, and I was also taking the evilest Biochem class ever...just kidding.

February - looking back at my blog, seems like biochem and research were at full force by then. I was also being strangely self-reflective that month (wouldn't that usually be a last-minute December thingy like this is?). I was also back into my crazy soccer-watching mode and livestreaming a lot. I remember missing the Superbowl half-time show because I was studying, and I basically don't remember anything from it. I think soccer-watching was my life outside of research, because I wasn't playing videogames. I thought I was watching figure skating too...maybe not.

March - ok, figure skating was late March. But anyway I started watching college basketball while all the conference tournaments were on and then proceeded onto the NCAA tourney. I picked Texas as my team because I discovered Kevin Durant. I otherwise was hating Biochem452 and dreaming of senior year. I think the weather wasn't so bad though... (basically I can't remember much from this month). Oh wait, Novak won his first Masters Series this month? I forgot if it was March or April, but the title is pretty important.

April - and the hell called Biochem452 was killed! Looks like I picked Suikoden V back up again, and watched what tennis I could on TV. I finally saw Ana on TV! And the Virginia Tech shooting happened - that was scary as hell.

May - the fiasco with leases... Basically I stayed at a friend's place for a week before moving into U-Towers for the summer. U-Towers misplaced my key which I couldn't get until Monday (I moved in on Saturday). That weekend I was worried about my enzyme and my parents yelled at me for staying late at lab (I still don't listen to them oops). This month was the leadup to the French Open and the news that Mario would miss it was quite devastating. Also, Champions' League finished up and I was actually rooting for AC Milan. I watched a bit of basketball but I also played Tales of Legendia (I remember beating Suikoden V pretty quickly). I had a roommate in the appartment still and I was being antisocial again. New people joined the research lab, making it more interesting. French Open started, but only like 2 days of it...

June - French Open in full swing! Novak makes it to the semis, Ana makes it to the final! Serbian tennis is HOT! Mario is still sick and misses Wimbledon. Gold Cup is going on and the whole U.S. v. Mexico final was nice. Mexico has this crazy good guy named Nery Castillo who seemed to pop out of nowhere. Benny Feilhaber was being awesome in my opinion. And Michael Bradley was taking over the world. MLS is also going on and I'm watching Toronto FC through CBC (I love this channel more than I should). Also, my brief crush on the girl from the lab across. She mysteriously disappears sometime... No, she was an undergrad who just graduated and was headed off to grad school...

July - Wimbledon and the tons of rain that sort of ruined it! Novak gets to another semi, and so does Richard! Venus kills Sveta and Ana and wins the title. The five-set win for Federer was pretty emotional, except I wasn't exactly rooting for Nadal or Federer. Amelie, frustratingly, couldn't get over her mental block with Nicole. U-20 soccer was going on, and I was so in love with the U.S. U-20 team... I was basically crushed when both they and Spain's U-20 lost in the quarters... But Kun and Argentina won the title and Kun was a triple winner (champion, golden ball and golden shoe)! Meanwhile I'm starting to look up grad schools and prepare for the GRE...I hate that test!

August - Tennis is always in full force during the summer, but ESPN2's coverage is pretty good during this non-slam time, and Gael, Ana, and Novak do awesome. Novak beats Federer at Montreal! Also, my summer research comes to an end and I am becoming lazy again. I take the damn GRE and then it's off to Canada! I don't learn enough French in time, but we manage fine because they still know English on the eastern side and are still willing to talk to us in English. My brother and sister like singing this song by Marie-Mai...the song isn't that bad, it's just my siblings... U.S. Open starts, my computer decides to die sometime over vacation, so I can't record matches and must skip class instead...or something like that.

September - school started for me again, boo. Novak gets to his first grand slam final but loses (he was choking, unfortunately), Sveta also gets to the final, and Ana loses early to Venus. A matchup issue, I think. Mario was out of the U.S. Open (he would have faced Novak, ahhh) because of shoulder stuff. Tsonga, who I randomly pick up, does pretty well to face off Nadal. Women's World Cup happens, and I cheer for the U.S. because I like Natasha Kai so much, but otherwise I really don't know any players or anyone. Brazil beats them but lose to Germany, by the way. Oh, also, my old TV sucks because it can't show channels between 65-93. Thankfully I get the ESPNs to show up on channels 47-49 so I get soccer and ESPNU! At the end of the month I head off to Chicago for a conference, which was fun and I also didn't do as much as I should have...oh well, resume padding?

October - my birthday month! Anyway, grad app stress begins. I have finally chosen programs and I also need to write personal statements...kind of hard to do if you don't really know what you are doing. There is soccer and the European indoor season for tennis and I hope that Richie can qualify. I finally went to a college soccer game as well...it was fun for me, not so much for my sister.

November - apps are being turned in! Meanwhile I wait for letters to come in. I have to priority-mail one of my letters in order for it to make it to Stanford on time. College basketball starts off - let's say that the Michigan team feels a lot different than last year. Tennis season comes to a close with somewhat disappointing end results, since Sveta and Novak lost all of their matches at the year-end championships. MLS season closes with another Houston vs. New England and I was just so upset that Chivas didn't get out of the first round again, so I don't care as much I could. EURO qualifiers finish up with both Croatia and Spain in the tournament, which makes me smile. NCAA soccer championships begin as well and I'm happy for UCLA even though I didn't get to watch them at all (they somehow make the tournament). I have a lot of shit collecting together at the end of the month and I realized that I caused myself unnecessary stress again. I'm slacking off in lab and I'm counting down the days in the semester.

December - apps are finished and school goes by so fast! I ditch German; I was so sick of that class. NCAA championships are around (I get to see Michigan's 2 home matches, they then lose to Penn State) and I am high with the Stanford women's volleyball team, until they fall in 5 to Penn State. Wake Forest wins the men's soccer and USC the women's soccer, but I don't really care. I go home earlier than last year and spend lots of time being a "high schooler" again, with all the online fiction and comics that I absorb. Cookies are made and eaten, brother comes home and fixes up my computer, I also beat Tales of the Abyss and I become reobsessed with Suikoden trivia. I end the year thinking about all the stuff I should have done, could have done, but don't really regret anything. I'm used to not doing everything I hope to, but I am happy and I feel like that is the most important of all.

So that's it, I think. I'm going to spend some hours thinking up goals for next year and starting fresh. After all, in 8 or so months I'm going to be on my own. It's a scary thought...so I better be prepared!

Too much blogging?

Is there such a thing as too much blogging? Well I wouldn't know since I'm not that good about posting, especially at times that I want to. It's the old "catch" perhaps, that whenever you have the greatest desire to post or write something, it's the one time that you don't have internet access or even paper. And if you know me well enough, you know that I can't remember what I want to write even as I try to write it down. This trait of mine really sucks.

So I feel like writing, but I don't know what to say once again. I should really do something like write fiction or something, but I also have this huge desire to watch volleyball. And I am sort of caught up in this "end of the year" stuff and thinking about next year already. You'd think that in my desire to write that I should start on my thesis or something. But I promised myself that I wasn't going to touch that until 2008. Yes, I like giving myself excuses.

And the one time that I would have enough free time to watch all the sports that I want to, the sports I watch are mostly on hiatus as well. Tennis starts up again December 31st (woot) and the only soccer going on is the Premier League. Basketball is going too, but nevertheless I can't watch any of this on TV. Once I get my own place I'll definitely need cable TV and a sports package...I don't know how I'm going to live otherwise.

So to write more...I feel like saving up my 2007 summary until Monday. So I think I'm going to find some mundane game to play since I've just finished book 1 of the Lord of the Rings trilogy and I just can't read anything that awesome with my brain in its current state of uselessness.

Ranting About Life Again

First of all, Happy Holidays to everyone! I hope that you are all having a good time, because basically I am doing about as well as I should for a break. It doesn't matter that it is exciting or interesting or even boring...it makes me feel good and that's all that I needed.

Meeting up with old friends yesterday went the way I should have expected it. I don't know what I was looking for... Sometimes I think that I've changed a whole lot but really I haven't. I think I've never shared that much in common with them and I still don't. Though it was interesting to hear how everyone is kind of discontent...no one's found a pot of gold or anything like that. In the end, it just seems that what you want is the thing you can't define, so it makes it pretty hard to find.

For example, I don't know if I am really searching for a life partner. I think I'm more worried about living by myself for the rest of my life. I mean, it's rare to have a roommate for life. I think I just need companionship and not romance. I have enough fun hearing about other people's and making up my own. I mean, I think everyone wants love; it just depends on what type.

And then jobs. I can't just sit, but I would be perfectly content to rotate between reading fiction, learning languages, playing music, playing videogames, listening to music, knitting, cooking, writing, and even studying more chemistry. However, at this point the chemistry is sort of "enforced" since it is part of my coursework so I don't exhibit a real on my own desire to seek out articles and read them myself, etc. Basically I'm not totally devoted to anything and I don't think I ever could be...

Luke von Fabre

I understand now why looking at Luke disturbs me so much. It's because Luke looks like he's wearing girl's clothes but is too buff to look like a typical girl. But he's not buff enough to really look like a guy either. For some reason Reid of Tales of Destiny 2 didn't bother me so much even with his girly clothes... It must be the hair. The hair! Luke looked so much better with short hair...

I guess it might be the hemaphrodite-ness of Luke that bothers me? I have no idea but it doesn't make sense... I am "unnaturally" attracted to bare skin (aka belly baring and such) and I tend to stare at it a lot, and Luke has that. And I know my personal preference is about the same shape for both men and women, so slender men and tallish but not stick-thin women. And I like boobs, but I think I prefer B and C sizes (I try not to stare at boobs too much but I can't help it sometimes), so maybe everything in moderation? Now if Luke had an hourglass figure I would be greatly disturbed...ahem, anyway I find it weird that I'm all for the cross-dressing and gender-bending and whatever (woot Guy's girly collar and the like) but something about Luke is both really hot and really disturbing...

Randomness, but Kevin Durant is not HOT but he can do awesome for the Sonics! I might pick them as my team, especially if I go to Washington. Then I'll be able to "stalk" them for real. Too bad, only heard back from U of M and Emory so far...I will have to wait until after Christmas break to know if other schools want me.

Why I am Suikomaniac

I really haven't written about videogames because frankly I haven't played them as much as I used to. RPGs used to be my life; I played them for hours each day, read fanfiction for them, wrote fanfiction for them, and searched out information for them. And one of my favorite things to do after beating a videogame is to look for fanfiction on it. Thus that is what I did for Tales of the Abyss. I really loved the characters in the game but I thought the ending was terrible. It was typical of Tales, however. And the characters are openly bisexual, like all of them! Just like me.

But somehow I got from looking for Tales fanfics to Suikoden. My interest in Suikoden characters has gone haywire again. I've been struggling with ideas for Suikoden fanfics...I don't think I've written one since high school. And I feel like a different person in many ways, and though I wrote "trash", I want to write a different type of trash. And I want to write lesbian fic, especially Miakis/Lymsleia. I actually think they aren't really lesbian lovers at all, and neither are like Lelei (the basically confirmed lesbian), but they are very cute. And then there is the awesome that is of cross-dressing Rahal. Though I'm not always for obviously gay, since that is somewhat boring, and also not nice to the characters.

And being the loser I am, I also thought up of a "hilarious" plot aka romantic comedy involving lots of bisexuals. If only there was a high school so accepting of this... Oh well I'll just pretend. And not-so-emo high school fic too, since emo high school fic is so easy to find. Not that I wasn't "emo" in high school, but still I was never that depressed ever. Ok, don't feel like talking about that, change of topic...

I love Novak. I miss tennis so much. That is all.

I am so drained and sad right now.

Stanford women's volleyball lost the championship match for the second year in a row, this time losing in 5 games.  They roared back from being down 2-0, but Penn State went on a run at the beginning of game 5 and never looked back.  It was like everything was going right in game 4, and then things just went BAM!  I feel so bad for Bryn Kehoe especially, being a senior and all and doing basically what she could.  And she was crying too...breaking our hearts.  And Foluke couldn't get past the block in the fifth game and it really hurt...and Cynthia is probably thinking way too much about what just happened because that's what she does and poor team, losing 2 years in a row...

And the men's College Cup final is tomorrow, but the final has Wake Forest vs. Ohio State, two teams that I don't like.  And that won't cheer me up because I basically don't care who loses or who wins, though I know Julian Valentin so I will end up rooting for Wake Forest.  But I will probably be studying for my last final of this semester and not really caring.  The volleyball loss was just really tough...tough because they had almost all of the pressure to win, and tough because I really cared about this team, even though I only saw them 6 times this year.  It was like last year with UCLA men's soccer, who I just saw once and fell in love with, who also lost in the final game.  See, Wake Forest doesn't even have the charismatic players or the fun players like Jason Leopoldo or David Estrada (UCLA), or even Nyarko of Virginia Tech.  And Ohio State is evil.  So I will keep trying to swallow, distract myself with studying, and pray that I get into Stanford and/or Washington so that I can watch my beautiful girls next year.

OMG

Stanford just won a 5 setter against USC in the NCAA volleyball semis and I was so scared that they might lose!  16-14 in the final set, with USC having a match point!  Barbosa got the last point and yay, I am so happy!  Now for Penn State vs. Cal...hopefully Cal because Cal has Cutura from Croatia and she's crazy awesome.  But anyway, I was shit scared.  I almost started crying after Stanford won.  My sister and I were bouncing a bunch for sure.  And men's soccer tomorrow, boo Ohio State and Wake Forest.  Minute men for the win!

Haha I spend too much time typing in exclamation points and then erasing them.  Oh well, my inorg test is over so I am slacking and enjoying every second of it (until Saturday, when I must start studying again...)

I'm in a good mood.

I've been super excited about women's NCAA volleyball and soccer.  They've both been fun, though I have been behind because this weekend I've also gone to 2 concerts and watched High School Musical yesterday.  It's just been super awesome.

The concert I went to yesterday was a Senegalese artist and his band.  It was very uplifting, somewhat similar, but lots of fun.  It was kind of like a rock concert, but since I was in the balcony I can still hear.  It was kind of interesting to be having the "rock concert" experience without actually having to be involved.  And the artist was fun, along with the Senegalese people who went on stage (without permission sometimes) and danced.  The dancing looked really tiring, but interesting.  I kind of wished that someone else was there with me, but I can't be that picky.  It just makes me think, my perfect partner has so many requirements.  I don't know if I'll ever find him or her...

Friday I checked out of my orgo lab, and Thursday I took my last test for German.  Yay for classes being over!  I'm also really happy because I have like no homework this weekend, so I don't have to worry about doing work and watching all those sports.  I look forward to grad school when I can do things like not homework...  Or next semester should be nice...

Also, I heard back from PIBS, U of M's biosciences grad program, on Friday and they want to interview me!  Yay for one "acceptance".  It's really reassuring and everything to have someone want you.  I want to go to grad school; let me matriculate!

I'm in such a spanish pop mood.  I want to brush up my Spanish and start learning so many other languages.  I think next semester (or over break) I will hit Croatian hard.  I'm going to at least remember all of those declensions.  I'm so nerdy because I think declining is so cool.  Then I think I'll try a little French, though there's also Italian.  And after hearing Senegalese yesterday, I think I want to learn an African language someday...don't know which one.  I think I'll stick to the Euro languages since I'm going to Europe this spring, yay for vacations!

I cause myself to LOL

I think it was a random time ago when someone was like, "What's good about Texas?" I responded that I like people who go to/went to Texas but not actually the school. Today I was randomly thinking about that topic again and I was naming a few people... I didn't get so far because the first things I thought were, "Kevin Durant, the Hookers..." I meant Destinee and Marshavet Hooker, but out of context (somehow my brain also pretends that it is other ignorant [sometimes] people and reacts to my own statements, yes I know that is weird) you know what that meant. So I laughed to myself again, like every other day. I want to say this to someone now, but no one would care and I would probably laugh before I said that the same serious way I did before. Sadness...

Classes are so close to being over! Especially with the good lab news (rest of our labwork has been canceled!), I have even more free time to be stupid! And read Lord of the Rings (only chapter 3, how sad). I've also decided to start writing again, just short fics right before bed. It's part trashy slashy fic and part "emo" but not really "emo" fic. I do reflect upon the past way too much, but I want to write fics since my real life isn't so interesting, and I can still see things about myself. Well at least I hope to.

Also randomly I think this new undergrad in our lab is hot. I think I've had classes with him. I won't tell him that, of course, because he will think that I'm even more of a freak than I already am. I also think that he looked like Ramza from Final Fantasy Tactics the one day that he had his hair (slightly longish) tied back in a short pony tail. I am weird, I know.